I know it has been a dreadfully long time since I posted something on there here internet, but it hasn’t been without good reason. A lot has happened in the past couple of months; some good, some bad, and some questionable. I’ll try my best to chronologically recount the (mis)adventures that make up my life.
Office Move
My company up and moved in a brand new office space, which is really nice, but didn’t come without its fair share of labor–mainly on my part. It’s not necessarily in my job description, but I figured the powers that be realized that I’m just a boy that can’t say no, and would be willing to help. Let me clarify: helping turned out to be staying late into the night while movers came in and demolished cubicles. I’m pretty sure these “movers” were actually on some sort of furlough program.
Overall, it was worth it and our new office is brand spanking new. My view is pretty sweet, so I have no complaints. I’m within yelling distance of almost everyone, which makes me happy and keeps me going through the day. “Your mom” jokes are a particular favorite of mine. So much so that I’ve found a website called Instant Rimshot that I use regularly to emphasize my comedic stylings.
Mellow Yellow
As most of you know, I like to change up my hair with consistent frequency. It’s gotten to the point where my hair stylist doesn’t ask what I’d like to do, I just sit down and he starts slapping on the bleach and color.
I had, what I called, my Neapolitan hair (hot pink, platinum, and black) for a while, but as you can imagine those colors faded pretty quickly. After that, I ended up looking like a bumblebee, which was actually pretty fun. People don’t seem to know what to make of me with these wild concoctions, but they seem to go over pretty well. And if they don’t like it, I really don’t care. Here are some pictures of the hair to tame your appetites.
Monica and me.
The Gay (but not gay).
Matt at his going away party.
More Monica, more me.
Camping
I’ve never really been camping before, so when Ivan, my hair stylist, invited me to join him and a plethora of other stylists to go camping I figured it was worth checking out. I was only going to be able to go for roughly a twenty-four hour period but I thought that being surrounded by eighteen hair stylists would be taxing, and therefore twenty-four hours would be more than sufficient. I was right.
I arrived at Lake Cachuma early Sunday afternoon not really knowing what to expect. I had borrowed a tent and sleeping bag since I didn’t really get clear indication of the sleeping arrangements. However, the explicit directive to BYOB was loud and clear.
Turns out I would be sleeping in a yert, which is a cross between a tent and a teepee. Inside there are two bunk beds and a small table. I had barely walked into our yert, affectionately labeled Sage, after being there for only about ten minutes, to be greeted by a table full of alcohol and a styling head, complete with wig and false eyelashes. It’s then when I realized, yes. It is going to be one of those weekends. I was already imagine the flurry of straight irons and color samplings. Had someone rode in on a sit down hair dryer, I would not have been surprised.
Turns out that there really isn’t much to do when you’re camping, other than eat and drink. And we did both to excess. More and more people kept showing up, each with unique personalities. I knew them from going to the salon, but now I was exposed to their full personality. There was the barber, the esthetician, the owner, and then the stylists. I was just taking in as much as I could, but at times I was even a little overwhelmed. Me!
The next morning, after a long night of marshmallows and alcohol, I woke up early to try and fish. Yes, I have a fishing pole, and yes, I like to fish. They weren’t biting that morning, but at least I tried. I guess bass don’t like turkey sandwich meat.
In retrospect, camping is something I don’t necessarily need to do again for a long time. It was fun, granted, but altogether pointless. Maybe if there had been some activities, like hiking and such, but for my twenty-four hours, I had done plenty.
Miles, the barber.
Lori, the birthday girl!
9 to 5: The Musical
What kind of gay would I be if I didn’t have season theater tickets, primarily because of this show? So Dolly Parton was tasked to write the music for a stage version of the popular movie of the same name. She did an amazing job and the show was actually really good. I was somewhat expecting it to be too campy and cheap, but it was stellar. Allison Janney played the role of Violet Newstead, which was originally portrayed by Lily Tomlin. I won’t trouble you to know the other leads as they are primarily Broadway stars, but they were amazing. Even though Dolly herself wasn’t there, at times you could almost feel her buxom bosom pressed up against you. It was comforting to say the least.
Milwaukee, Here I Come
My company’s headquarters is located in the bustling city of Milwaukee, WI. From others that have already visited the consensus is pretty much the same: There’s nothing there. Nothing. I’m travelling there this Monday through Wednesday on probably the two worst possible flight times, which I’m not looking forward to, but I have done my due diligence to scope out where the boys are, so hopefully it won’t be a complete bust. I’ve also seen some photos of the natives and I’m willing to bet that they will not know what to do with me; a thought that is both enticing and frightening. This should be interesting.
The Presidential Race
I don’t think there is much comedic fodder I can add to the race and/or the debates. God bless Sarah Palin, without which we would have to resort to tired old McCain jokes. In my opinion, the debates have been increasingly more interesting solely because the subsequent SNL parody will be all the more captivating.
