XOXO
Adriel

Before I divulge the details, and hopefully wonderful stories from my trip, here’s something that brought me balance–and hopefully you too.

So there you have it. If you live in Alaska or Slovakia, please send me an eMail. I’ll be waiting at the airport terminal with the disgusted look on my face, clearly not dressed for cold weather.

iPhone 4

I was due for a little splurge, so I bought myself a little happy. Because I’m pretty rad, I was one of a select few that received mine the day before it was publicly on sale. I don’t know why exactly, but I spun it in a way that made me superior to others. Naturally, some people’s first question was, “Who are you sleeping with?” No one, actually–but that’s neither here nor there. The fact is that I have it.

I must admit, it’s pretty nice. I have no real complaints to this point. Granted, I really just use it for making calls, texts, playing music, and eMail. I’m sure there are some nice features for playing games and detonating devices, but I just want to make a phone call.

They have that video conferencing thing, but it requires both people to have this phone and you have to have a Wi-Fi connection, which is not always available. This is probably a good thing, considering when I’m not at work our out and about, I’m the epitome of the “casual” male. I’m talking hot shorts, a tank top, and a bandanna–you know, to hold my hair back. This isn’t a visual fit for public consumption, I realize that. But I clean up nice!

I’m calling for a complete recount and I want to conduct it. Not really, I’m far too busy but still. Who are these people? My guess is that they’ve been having lousy sexy time for far too long.

Couples who think they’re not measuring up because so many celebrities boast about sex sessions that last all night can take some comfort.

Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.

In fact, shows such as Sex And The City and Desperate Housewives have created unrealistic expectations of bedroom performance that can only lead to disappointment.

Now, I’m no way trying to toot my own horn, but toot toot! Ten minutes? I’m sorry, I require much more than that. When I’m having sexy time I have a goal in mind, and that goal is a good time. A really good time. Ten minutes is barely enough to remember a person’s name or wonder if you have enough cash to pay them afterward. Maybe I’m I romanticize it more than most, but I’m more partial to forty-five minutes to an hour, if not more. There are things that need to be done.

I’m going to find comfort in the fact that the article was based on a survey in the UK, and not to perpetuate a stereotype but they aren’t known for being the best lovers, I’m just saying.